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Student: Hey, you see those girls over there? The one in the orange shirt looks like my
extra girlfriend!
Me: Sorry, you added a sound. It should be EX-girlfriend.
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Me: So, where are pearls cultured?
Student: Pearls are cultured in the Kinky Peninsula.
Me: Sorry, you're a little off – it's the Kii Peninsula.
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Student: I learned a new word! Your tie is favor…fav…fabo…
(Student checks her magazine again, then grins triumphantly.)
Student:
Fabulous! Your tie is fabulous!
Me: Well, thank you!
----------
Student: One of my patients was very shocked today
because he got a sup…super…suppose…
(Student checks his electronic dictionary.)
Student (loudly): Suppository!
Me: Really, a suppository?
Foreign Coworker (overhearing this): Suppository? What?
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Student: For our next outing, we're going to Russia…oh,
sorry, sorry! We're going to Glacier
Point.
Me: Yeah, good!
----------
Student A: Do you want some more water?
Student B: No thanks, I'm done here. I'm going to go shit in the sauna. Are you coming?
Me: Let's try that again with more 'see.' SIT.
----------
Student: Don't worry, you can take care of the bill.
Me: Actually, here you're offering to help me.
Student: Oh, right!
I'll take care of the bill.
Me: Much better!
----------
Student: I'm so jealous of you! I'm a horrible cock!
Me: Er, it's COOK, actually.
----------
High school girl: I'm interested in my math teacher. He makes everything easy to understand.
Me: Okay, good, but just so you know, 'interested in
someone' usually means romantic interest.
(Cue look of dismay and vehement denials)
----------
Me: Welcome to my pet shop! Which animal would you like to see?
Student: Can I see the crocodile eating the chicken?
----------
Student: I eat instant ramen almost every night. To tell you the truth, I'm pretty tired of
you.
Me: Good, but it should be 'it.'
Student: Hm?
Me: I'm pretty tired of IT, not 'you.'
(Student realizes what she said and bursts out laughing.)
----------
Me: How about
you? Did you go anywhere?
Student: No, I'm bland, so I stayed in Boston.
Me: Sorry, it's 'broke,' not 'bland.' But good overall!
----------
Student: I invited my friend Ryan to the party.
Me: Really? Where
is he?
Student: He's the guy coming on the door.
Me: Er, it should be 'in,' not 'on.' Coming IN the door.
----------
Student: I have worn okonomiyaki.
Me: Actually, 'worn' was the last card. This one is 'I have TRIED okonomiyaki.'
----------
Me: So, what do you think about city life?
Student: Shitty life…hm…
Me: Sorry, CITY life.
----------
Student: I'm going to turn in my timeshits.
Me: Little more 'e' – timeSHEETS.
----------
Student: I visit my mother twice a week. I like watering the flowers instead of her.
Me: Ah, I see.
Just so you know, that sounds like you like watering the flowers more
than watering your mother. I might say,
'I like watering the flowers FOR my mother.'
Student: Oh my goodness!
How did you understand my bad English?!
Me: Well, that's my job!
----------
Student: I have a sister who is an alien pilot.
Me: Er, it's 'airline pilot.' I didn't know you were an alien!
----------
Student A: For my last vacation, my family and I went to
Aquamarine Fukushima. (An aquarium in Onahama)
Student B: Do you have a season pass?
Student A: No, but if my kids grow up, I'll probably get
one.
Me: Um, I'd say 'WHEN my kids grow up.' 'If' sounds like you don't expect them to get
any older.
----------
Student: Every summer, I go back to my hometown for my
mother's funeral service.
Me: Actually, I might say a memorial service, or to visit
my mother's grave. 'Funeral service'
sounds like she gets back up every year and you have to bury her again.
----------
Student A: I called you last night, but you didn't
answer.
Student B: Oh, sorry!
I was eating my son.
Me: I think you mean 'eating WITH my son.'
(Student B looks horrified as she realizes what she said,
then bursts out laughing.)
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Student A: I don't think I can do that. Tomorrow, I'm going to be in Osaka today.
Student B: Tomorrow today?!
Student A: Sorry, sorry – for two days!
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Student: Chiba is known for its penis.
Me: Sorry, peanuts.
Student: Oh right, peanuts! Also, it's known for its bitches.
Me: Beaches.
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Me: Say, what's that in your hair?
Student: It's a Beretta!
Me: Oh, a barrette!
We'll, it's very cute!
----------
Me: 911 emergency.
Student: Hello, I'd like to report an emergency!
Me: What's the problem, sir?
Student: There's a man in a bad mood.
Me: Er...actually, he's having a heart attack.
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Entertaining Errors Compilation Part One
Entertaining Errors Compilation Part Two
It was wonderful teaching all of my students in Japan! I miss Iwaki, but I'm also very happy to be home. I hope to have many more funny mistakes from Korea soon!
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