My students often say really funny things. Sometimes it's on purpose and sometimes it's by accident, but it always brightens my day. I've posted these on Facebook as they've happened, though, of course, not everyone who reads this blog is a friend of mine on Facebook. I don't post these to get a laugh at the expense of my students, but rather to record some of the amusing quirks of teaching English as a second language, as well as the creativity and sense of humor my students often display. Enjoy!
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Me: So, we're taking a trip. What's an example of a place we can go to?
Student: Africa.
Me: Great! What are some things we need for a trip to
Africa?
Student: GUNS.
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Me: Alright, let's practice. So, how was your weekend?
Student: Great!
Me: Oh really? What did you do?
Student: I went to outer space.
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Student A: I was climbing Mount Fuji and saw a UFO.
Student B: What was it?
Student A: I heard it was on its way to a welcoming
party.
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Me: I missed yesterday's meeting. Can you tell me what
the boss said?
Student: He said that you should quit. He also asked if
you have any work to do, and told me to tell you to come to the company party
tonight.
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Student A: I called you this morning, but you didn't
answer.
Student B: Oh, sorry. I was taking a shower. Why did you
call?
Student A: I missed hearing your voice!
Student B: Ah, me too! How romantic!
Me: Wait a minute…aren't you both married?
Student A: Oh, uh...I called the wrong number. Sorry.
Student B: That's okay.
Me: Let me teach you two about 'hanky-panky' and
'cheating on your spouse'...
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Student A: Have you met Bob?
Student B: No, not yet.
What's he like?
Student A: He's kind of coarse. He's always using bad language.
Student B: What does he say?
Me: Alright, let's learn about 'not for polite company'
and 'not safe for work'!
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Student A: Are you doing anything this weekend?
Student B: Yes, I'm cleaning my room.
Student A: How long will that take?
Student B: Ten minutes.
(Later)
Student A: Are you doing anything this weekend?
Student B: Yes, I'm going to Aquamarine Fukushima
Aquarium.
Student A: Really?
How long will you stay there?
Student B: Ten minutes.
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Younger Female Student: I like pandas. I think they're cute. Do you like pandas?
Older Male Student: I think you're as cute as a
panda. I have a panda for a pet. You should come to my house and see my panda.
Me: Easy there, smooth talker, I know you're married!
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Student A: I have a problem with the items I ordered from
your company. I'd like to exchange them.
Student B: No.
Student A: No?
Student B: It's not my problem.
Student A: Then I'll buy them from your competitor
instead!
Student B: Fine!
Go ahead!
Student A: Fine! I
will!
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Student: It's been really grating having you here.
Me: Sorry, I think you meant 'great' there...
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Student: Meiko, you're really pissing yourself today!
Me: Actually, it's pronounced 'pushing'...
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Student A: What do you want to do this weekend?
Student B: I don't know, what do you want to do?
Student A: I don't know, what do you want to do?
*Students realize what they just did and burst out
laughing.*
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Me: …we could also say that your parents are babysitting.
Students: Babyshitting.
Me: Sorry, let's try that again. BabySITTing.
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Student A: What would you do if you baked a cake?
Student B: If I were to bake a cake, I would hit
Matt-sensei in the face with it.
Me: Okay, okay, that was a well-constructed sentence, so
I'll take that cake. What kind of cake
would you make?
Student B: Shortcake.
Okay, Greg and I about died laughing at these. Good post, Matt.
ReplyDelete~Claire